Exercise… the poor person’s plastic surgery
Well it’s an absolute winter wonderland outside this morning! And by wonderland we mean absolutely gross weather. But what’s the best way to spend a morning when it’s disgusting outside? WORKING ON YOUR FITNESS! (As Fergie Ferg would say) Since we’re not actually sane individuals we tend to go in the wee hours of the morning (some would consider the time to still be yesterday) (secretly it’s because we enjoy the empty gym…we’re not good at sharing). The other day we had a conversation and it went something like this:
Margaret: HI HOLLIE
Hollie: HI MARGARET
Margaret: DON’T YOU WISH WE COULD HAVE SHREDDED ABS?!
(We tend to just scream things at one another frequently)
*At this point we discussed how our lower abs are particularly weak compared to upper abs.
-For some general anatomy: Your upper abs are upper and your lower abs are lower than those ones. You’re welcome.
SO! Today we dedicated an entire workout JUST TO LOWER ABS! And then… we did it again (for reinforcement). We decided to share it with all of you because it was particularly effective (We think?) and thus forth you should all consider yourselves to be very lucky. (See earlier paragraph about sharing)
HERE IT IS:
(You should probably warm up by doing whatever you usually do… perhaps interpretive dance…or some log rolls…or some plain old boring jogging)
Then…prepare to have serious abdominal burning. Like disco inferno level 900 burning.
40 Jumping Jacks
15 Lying Toe Touches
10 Roll Ups (do these SLOW – make sure you keep your hands behind your ears the whole time otherwise it will make your lower back hate your guts SO MUCH)
3 Lying Leg Raises
40 Bicycle Crunches
20 Flutter Kicks (Make sure to keep your lower back flat on the ground for these…or again… Lower back hatred will be coming your way)
10 Seated Knee Tucks
5 Roll Ups (refer to the part where we said to do 10)
3 Lying Leg Raises
10 Reverse Crunches
10 Lunge Twists
30 Jumping Jacks
-THEN: hold a plank for as long as you can (if we were in person this is the part where Margaret would brag about being able to hold it for 2 minutes) (no biggie)
BUT WAIT THERE’S MORE! … Then you REPEAT ALL OF THE ABOVE!
We’re also big fans of HIIT (High Intensity Interval Training) on the treadmill or stair climber so we usually combine heavy cardio and abs day! Start with your workout and end with cardio or you’ll just burn yourself out before you even start… we’ve learned the hard way.
This is a sure fire way to
a) Cry at the gym (another reason we go so early in the morning)
b) Make your abs want to go on strike and picket for at least a month…or enough time that just makes it inconvenient for everyone. Prepare for the inability to dress yourself / cough.
3) Continue your progress towards SHREDDED ABS (our goal is to grate cheese off of them…. Work in progress we’ll keep you posted)
Remember: if you aren’t ahead, then you’re behind. So far- you are behind. SO GET UP AND GO ! You think the Situation got his abs from trolling the web and reading mildly offensive blogs?